And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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