My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You smell like stripper and shame
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
