omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
