Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
