you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
