I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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