Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
