Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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