IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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