he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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