so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
