Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
