I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
