But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Your tits are I can't wait for
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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