We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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