I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
