smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
