Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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