you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
