Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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