Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
