I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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