this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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