Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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