he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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