and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
