you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
