Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
