PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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