last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Every concussion has its silver lining
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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