so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
