I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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