just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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