Sponge bath it is.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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