things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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