is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
