I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
