matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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