Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
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