Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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