She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
