i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
