I'm really into asian looking animals
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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