True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
