check it out our google latitudes are spooning
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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