Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i dont even know how to be here
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
