porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
