YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
