My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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