You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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