We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
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