Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
