that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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